The Tortoise vs. The Hares

At the course recently for a round with Assaf. It was a gorgeous blue-sky day, and the course wasn’t too crowded. We had reasons to want to play a quick round, and just ahead of us on hole 1 a solo player teed off. This guy was a big lug kinda guy, and he moved slower than I think I’ve ever seen anyone move on the course. I made the comment to Assaf that it seemed that a person would have to consciously slow themselves down to go that slow. Needless to say, we were trying to finish our round in under two hours and figured we’d have to get past this guy to have a chance at that kind of pace. However, we didn’t get the chance to pass him until hole 6, as he waited on the bench with one shoe off for some reason.

We seized the opportunity to ask to play through, and he was nice enough to agree even though we were a twosome. This is when it began to get wierd. I had already referred to him as the ‘Turtle’ due to his almost perternaturally slow movement, but it soon became apparent that he was in fact a tortoise, and we were on this day hares. I thought we were playing pretty briskly, but looking back from the fairway of hole 8, there was the turtle, moving as slowly as before but right behind us anyway. The scene repeated itself? time and again as we spotted him on the tee for 13 as we finished the hole, driving on 15 as we walked away from the basket. Each time he was walking at the same languid pace, yet he remained right there with us. I remember one time in particular that Assaf went down into a canyon a little ways, and I thought that hares would go astray like that, while the tortoise stays on the fairway and plods ahead.

Unlike the story, these hares didn’t get passed by the tortoise, but I can’t help but think that maybe he was pulling a great practical joke on us. Walking ridiculously slowly whenever we could see him, and jogging when he was out of our site. If it was a joke, he got us good. We were really perplexed by the whole thing- or maybe amused is a better word. If you see the Tortoise out there, tell him the hares said ‘Hi’.

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